Scary and hopefully avoidable future

Hi everyone,

Just talked to my sister yesterday. She has a 12 yr old girl with ADHD, 10 yr old girl and 8 yr old boy. She was staying at my mom's house. She left because she and the 12 year old had a big row and the other two are paying her no respect. Her husband is gone 4 nights a week and also has ADHD. Wanted to give some background. Really sad. She said she can't take it anymore and that the kids sass her back, are ungrateful and don't appreciate all she does for them.

I feel horrible for her, but also frustrated. When I talk to her about the situation all there are are excuses. The kids are horribly over scheduled and spoiled. If I say, tell them to only do one activity, her response is well, this activity only lasts 5 weeks and my oldest need to be active. I know there are special circumstances with the oldest but does she need to do ski club, hip-hop, school play, basketball and RE. Come on. Even if some of those event only overlap for a few weeks that is still ridiculous. Plus the other two are doing RE and one activity on Sat. plus parties. I told her, you are stressed and running around and the kids are feeding off of you. She brought her oldest $5 to school for the ski club trip, the oldest forgot it, and when she saw her mom at school she walked up, took the money, threw her backpack at her and walked off. My sis, let her go and didn't say anything and felt low. I would have told her she couldn't go on the trip. My sis says she does so much for the kids and I told her to stop doing it, they will take all they can get.

There is no respect or communication there. I'm feeling frustrated and sad for her and had to dump this out here. This will not be my household and it is so good we are starting young.